Those were my exact thoughts when I pulled up the driveway last night as I saw the front porch door wide open. I know to some of you this may not sound like a big deal, but to most Floridians this is a NO NO!! No one leaves their door open on a humid night….that would mean the “B” word. BUGS !!! And Hell NO we are not going there!!
I couldn’t believe it…I mean how many times do I have to tell him (my husband, Frank) that he can’t keep the doors open in FL??? (He recently relocated from CA, and was so used to always having the doors and windows open….. I seriously, don’t think that state has bugs, at least Nothing compared to FL, maybe that’s why it’s so expensive to live there….gorgeous weather and BUG free)
When I walked in the front door, my body felt hot from my emotions, I was not happy….I was seriously pissed off… (In the past my blood has been sucked on while sleeping, by quite a few mosquitos from our doors being open all day.) I have had to tell Frank more than a dozen times that the doors can’t stay open unless it’s cool outside (below 75), so I walked over to the door that was wide open with the porch light bright as can be above it and I slammed the door loud enough that Frank knew I was home and maybe a tiny bit upset.
You see it wasn’t so much that the door was open, it was that he wasn’t listening to me, I felt like I wasn’t being heard and that he was being selfish for wanting to do what he wants to do and not considering my feelings about how I don’t like the doors open when its warm out.
WHAT???? HOLY CRAP CHRISTINE….DID YOU JUST SAY WHAT I THINK YOU SAID???? I stepped back and realized why this same action kept repeating itself. I haven’t learned my lesson, I haven’t learned to Allow, I haven’t fully learned that trying to control what someone else wants to do even if I don’t want them to, doesn’t work.
First of all….Who the Hell do I think I am to try and tell another Adult what they can or can’t do?? Frank can do what he wants to do even if I don’t agree with his actions. My lesson really isn’t about the door being open, it’s about letting others be and do what they choose to do. It was my thought about the door being open that made me upset, not the action of Frank doing it.
I am not one that has ever liked anyone telling me what I am allowed or not allowed to do….So why the hell am I doing this to others? I will tell you why…it’s called our EGO. My ego took over last night like an entitled brat…wanting things to be my way, because that is how I like and expect them to be. Our ego thinks in terms of “You know “I” don’t like it when you do those things, so WHY ARE YOU?” Or “ Why didn’t you ask me or tell me that you were going to do that, when I would have asked you?” Ego wants to control, ego wants others to behave exactly how we would behave toward them. Ego thinks ME, ME, ME, or I, I, I…..never You, You, You. Never worrying about what makes the other person happy or seeing their actions through Love. Where if I did, I would have had a totally different reaction knowing that Frank loves the outdoors, he loves the humid air, and he likes to keep the door open sometimes and that is ok, because it makes him happy.
Last night was a huge Revelation for me. It opened my eyes to my ego getting in the way, more than It should be (Which happens to most of us quite a bit). It opened my eyes to understanding why this keeps repeating, to be conscious of my thinking and to work harder on Allowing others to be and do what they choose to do. It doesn’t matter if I agree with their choice or not. It’s not about me. It’s about them. Frank was trying to make himself happy and I tried to take that from him.
We are here to learn to create our own happiness. We are here to learn to let everyone be who they are meant to be, and We are here to Love no matter what the situation is.
This was such a huge learning lesson for me….
In the moment, I let my emotions fully go through my body, I didn’t suppress them. I started to see clearly, and I was able to understand the true meaning of the “Door being left Wide Open”. Knowing the teachings behind this message, I was able to smile, see the Love and let go of my negative feelings very quickly.
And if someone hasn’t told you today……
I love you
Certified Mindset Life Coach